Rob Schneider

J.D.

Michelle Rodriguez

Harriet

Adrien Brody

Flirty Harry

Lindsay Lohan

Marilyn

Ari Shaffir

The Amazing Racist

Vince Offer

Peeping Tom

Jonathan Spencer

Lt. O'Flanagan / Bob / Sewage Technician / Paparazzi

Anna Akana

Student

Ali Olomi

Taliban Guard

Da'Vone McDonald

Vondell

Jessie T. Usher

Jamal

Noelle Kenney

Patient

Caroline Rich

Cindi

Theo Von

Mountain Climber

Joanna Krupa

Beautiful Girl

Deborah Rombaut

Nurse Jones

Alejandro Patiño

Worker

Calvin Sykes

Murphay

Andrea Lwin

Beautician

Danni Lang

Beautician #2

Thai Edwards

Swade

Mark Chalant Phifer

Darnell

Ashton Jordann Ruiz

Acquon

Ben Wang

Sweatshop Boss

Paul Kwo

Sweatshop Worker

Hymnson Chan

Student

Rick Chambers

Captain

Chehon Wespi-Tschopp

Black Swan

Isaac Cheung

Sushi Papa

Jia Mae

Sushi Mama (as Jia Perlich)

Paolo Scandarisi

Swollen Pecker

Dante

The Racist Assistant

Joe Roche

Rookie

Ben Begley

Bartender

Tony Vera

Bad Guy

Ray Bolton

Patron

Eduardo Ambriz DeColosio

Worker

Diane Kawasaki

Theater Madam

Kimberly Irion

Store Patron

Allen Abrams

White Swan